Absolutely Nothing, but Everything at the Same Time

Today is the day before my birthday. My eighteenth birthday. 

Today is the day I broke a promise to my ex. 

Today is the day I gave up. 

Today is the day...

Have you ever felt so bad that you just wanted everything to be done? Completely erased from the existence of life. Pried from the deceased hands of pure life and tossed into a field of non-existence. My day was completely ruined and I am breaking promise number two on a promise list I once made with my ex. I am leaving. I am leaving his life and I am shredding memories so it's as if I never existed. I have never tried mentally forcing myself to die, but let me tell you, it does not work. I mean, it works if all you're trying to accomplish is forming a very painful headache. I am giving up on trying to make other people happy if the mission is impossible. I can only heal your wounds with my words, for I am not God. 

I do not possess supernatural powers to vanish your worries. 

I do not possess incredible super strength to fight off your insecurities.

I do not possess the knowledge to give you the correct answers to all of your questions.

I do possess a heart of gold that will rip through titanium to find the supernatural powers to vanish your worries. The super strength to fight off your insecurities. To FIND the correct answers to your questions. 

I do possess a heart of gold that will LOVE every individual that steps into this world. 

I do possess a heart of gold that will one day love a special someone like no other has loved before. 

I DO POSSESS A HEART OF GOLD THAT WILL HELP WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED. 

Today is the day. The last day I will be 17 years old. The last day I will live on this earth as a young girl that is afraid to live out her dreams, afraid to say what she wants to say, afraid to live, afraid to die, afraid to love, afraid to give, afraid to receive, afraid to control, afraid to learn, afraid to think.

Tomorrow I become a young woman that let's go of her fears and steps into a realm change. For the better. Tomorrow is the process of setting my past free and grabbing hold of the future. 

My life is in my hands. 

xoxo

The Best Advice

If I were to give you advice, the most valuable advice I can ever give to you would be this:

You will never be anyone but yourself. You were born in your skin and you will die in your skin. Learn to love yourself because if you don't love yourself, you don't respect yourself. How can others respect you if you don't even respect yourself? YOU are incredibly unique because there is no other person who walks this earth that is you. They don't look like you, speak like you, or act like you. Yes, everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect. Which is why you just have to be the perfect YOU that you can be. Everyone can improve in many ways, whether it's getting better at something, losing weight, gaining weight, etc. What really hurts me is when I see blogs cluttered  with girls that are toothpick thin and comments saying "I really wish I was this small." 

STOP comparing yourself to other people. You will never look like or be that person, you will only be you. You are already extraordinary, you just can't see it yet. If you want to see it, close your eyes. Eyes can only see the exterior and material things. Close your eyes and open your heart. Open your mind to new things. Change your way of thinking. You are so incredibly amazing that it sickens me you do not see it. You can do anything you set your mind to. 

Don't drop your goals of losing weight just because I am telling you that you are perfect the way you are... but don't obsess over getting rid of everything but your flesh and bones.

If I were to give you one piece of advice that would dramatically change your life, it would be:

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

BE. YOU.