I am confined by shadows of confusion. Every time I go to make a decision or speak, there is always confusion standing behind me, breathing out pulses of oppressive energy which makes me choke on my logic. I'm usually good about enclosing my emotions inside of me, but lately, my emotions have been seeping through my skin. I've dealt with a few major situations in my short 17 years of life, but this situation is surely one that I will learn huge lessons from. How are you supposed to know that God is speaking to you? What if you think he's saying one thing to you but something else that totally contradicts what he's telling someone else? How are you supposed to know you've made the right decision? Do you just have to wait it out until you're somewhere lost in the halls of the future? Do you go with your gut and let things play out? Is it all just one big adventure?
I seek adventure. I want to be adventurous and take risks and live. I want to taste the sweet destiny that is laid out before me. I want to live life in a completely different way with a totally different mindset. I want to live out of my comfort zone, to test myself, to be embarrassingly brave. "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery and I promise you, something great will come out of it." -- We Bought a Zoo. I so desperately crave to live like this, the need to be out of the box is totally consuming my world. I want to make people happy, I want myself to be happy, I want to start Paying It Forward. I want my existence to be backed up by a purpose.
I know this post is a bit general, but I promise there is a great explanation. Maybe I'll get into more detail soon, but for now I just needed to translate my thoughts into words that I can read.
Lesson of the day:
There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.